Never Let Ninjas Near Laptops
by Tobi'sgoodgirllovesSasuSaku
Summary: What happens when I leave Team 7 alone with my computer? Let's just say, not one of my better ideas. Crack, crack, and more crack! Oh, and some SasuSaku, but you might have to look hard to see it.


**A/N: Hey everyone, GG here, with a little oneshot that I thought up of one night. But, this idea was thought up of at 12 in the morning one night while I was on the computer, so be prepared for crack!(and OOC-ness. But that's another story) Just think of this as a glimpse into what I've been doing this whole time while writing the sequel.(NO I AM NOT PROCRASTINATING!! I'm just taking my sweet old time with it)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, then every single character would own a computer, just to see what we do to them in our free time.**

* * *

A brown haired girl walked into her kitchen, grabbing an apple while humming a little tune. She walked over to the sink, washing it off. She then brought it to her mouth and took a big bite out of it.

She sighed. "I really need to work on that homework they gave us." She said through the apple. She walked back to her room, only to find a certain blond on her bed, scrolling through a website on her computer.

She walked up behind him and looked at the screen. "Uh, Naruto, what're you doing?" she asked.

He looked up from the screen. "Oh, hey GG didn't hear you come in. I'm just surfing the web." He said, returning his attention to the screen.

"You do know that that's an Icha Icha site, right?" she asked.

He blushed furiously. "Yeah, I know." GG then cracked her knuckles, knowing what would and will happen next.

* * *

Sasuke sat in a tree outside her house, watching the clouds in the sky roll by. _"Hn. Guess I see why that Nara kid likes watching them so much."_ He thought.

"Hey Sasuke-kun!" called a voice. Sasuke turned and saw that Sakura was walking towards him.

"Hn." He greeted her, turning his gaze away. She walked up to the tree and leaned against it's trunk.

"So, what're you doing?" she asked casually.

"None of your business." He replied harshly. She stayed quiet after that, and just when he was ready to relax again, a very loud and obnoxious voice disturbed the peace.

"NARUTO YOU PERVERT!!!" screamed GG, which was then followed by sounds of beatings of the blond. Startled, Sasuke lost his balance and fell out of the tree, landing right on top of Sakura. She blushed when she realized how someone could take this the wrong way if they had just been passing by. He quickly got off of her, a microscopic blush on his face also.

"We better see what the dobe did now." Sasuke said, running off in the direction of the house. Sakura nodded, and followed. They came to her bedroom, and saw that GG had Naruto in a headlock, and was proceeding to strangle him.

"Don't you know that I could get in trouble with my school if they just happened to track me?!" She shouted, squeezing even tighter.

"I'm…sorry….can't….breathe…." Naruto choked out, face becoming an odd blue color.

"What's going on here?" Sasuke asked her before she killed Naruto.

She looked up and saw Sasuke and Sakura staring at her like she was a mad woman. "Oh, hi Sakura! Hi Chicken ass!" she said, waving at them.

Sasuke sighed, not even bothering to tell her to stop making fun of his hair. "Just tell us what happened." He said in a bored tone.

"Well you see, I was working on some homework that I had, and then I went to get a snack. When I came back, I saw Naruto was on my computer, and it turns out he was on a very bad website. Right Naruto?" she asked sweetly, voice like poisonous honey.

"Uh-huh…very bad…please let me go…."Naruto said, beginning to turn purple. She let him go, and he sprawled out on the floor, gasping for air.

"Sweetie, are you ready to go?" called out a voice.

"Be right there mom!" she yelled back. "Okay listen, you guys can stay in here and be on my computer. But there are a few rules. Rule 1 is don't go on any bad websites," at this she glared at Naruto, who cowered behind Sakura, "Rule 2 is don't touch any of my files, and Rule 3 is just don't mess with it too much. Got it?" she asked.

"Got it!" they answered.

"Good. I'll be back in an hour. See ya then!" she said, and then ran out the room. The three were then left to stand in an awkward silence while GG and her mother left for God knows where.

"So…what'd we do now?" Sakura asked, trying to break the silence.

"I know! Let's go onto Deviantart!" Naruto said, pointing at the computer.

"Deviantwhat?" asked Sakura.

"Deviantart! GG showed it to me one day. Come here." He motioned for the two to sit down. They sat on either side of him, both looking at the screen. Naruto then proceeded to the Internet, and then went to the favorites section. He scrolled down to the last icon on the list and clicked on it. A web page then showed up displaying many different pictures.

"So, what'd you guys wanna see?" Naruto asked, ready to type something in the search box.

"Um…how about Kakashi-sensei without his mask?" Sakura suggested.

"Alright then." Naruto said, and began to type it in. He clicked go, and instantly it came up many different pictures.

"Whoa, he has 367 hits!" Naruto exclaimed, pointing at the screen.

"I bet I've got more." Sasuke said smirking at the thought of all the fangirl love he receives on these websites.

"Hey guys, is that really Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, pointing at a certain picture.

"Which one?" Naruto asked.

"The one that's wearing nothing but a towel around his neck." Sakura said. Sasuke and Naruto immediately covered her eyes, both finally noticing the picture.

"Scroll down dobe!" Sasuke said, beginning to twitch at the thought of someone drawing their teacher naked.

"I'm trying, I'm try-HOLY SHIT ITS KAKASHI-SENSEI AND SAKURA-CHAN!!!" Naruto yelled out, stopping on one picture.

"What?! Who'd draw that?!" Sasuke asked, beginning to make a mental list of those he needed to hunt down and kill.

"Guys! Let me see!" Sakura whined.

"NO!" they both shouted at her.

"That's it! I'm leaving this stupid place!" Naruto said, and then clicked out of the website. They breathed a sigh of relief as they removed their hands from Sakura's eyes.

"Geez, it couldn't have been that bad." Sakura mumbled under her breath.

"Let's try something else, eh?" Naruto said, turning his attention back to the screen.

"I know! Why don't we try Youtube?" Sakura suggested.

"What the hell is that?" Sasuke asked, wondering what kind of person came up with that name.

"It's this website where people can put up videos or movies that they made." Sakura explained.

"Sounds cool! Let's do it!" Naruto said, going over to the favorites section. He clicked on the little Youtube icon, and was soon taken to the homepage. "So what should we watch?" Naruto asked.

"GG told me about these things called fan flashes." Sakura said.

"What are they?" Naruto asked, getting ready to type it in.

"They're these videos people make that include some of the Naruto cast and different songs. She says they're extremely funny." Sakura said.

"Well then, let's get going!" Naruto said, typing it in. He clicked the search button, and it instantly came up with 2,310 results. "Man, we're pretty popular!" Naruto said, looking at all the different videos.

"Click on that one." Sakura said, pointing at the first one. Naruto read the title.

"Ultimate Naruto Fanflash. Sounds good to me!" Naruto said, clicking on it. Opening music began to play, stating how this was Snow's big spiffy flash project, and how they should laugh.

"I hate opening credits." Sasuke said, watching as it changed from those words to the word play.

"Shh! Quiet teme! It's starting!" Naruto said, and soon it was replaced by music and Orochimaru singing along to it.

_I believe in miracles, since you came along, you sexy thing!_

The three screamed in horror as he sang the words.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!!" Sasuke yelled, twitching terribly.

"I'm trying, but I don't know how!!" Naruto yelled back at him, frantically trying to make it stop. He failed miserably, but had succeeded in making it larger and louder.

"Oh for the love of- just go back!" Sakura shouted.

"Right!" Naruto said, and hurriedly clicked the back arrow repeatedly. They all sighed in relief when they had left the video.

"That was wrong on _so_ many levels!" Sasuke said, still twitching. Naruto nodded his head and turned his attention back to the screen. He saw that they were back on her homepage, and that she had one new message in her mailbox.

"Hey guys, wanna read a message she got?" Naruto asked.

"Naruto! That's trespassing into other people's privacy!" Sakura said, scolding him.

"I say we do it." Sasuke said.

"You do?" Sakura and Naruto asked together, shocked that he'd actually want to do that.

"Why not? She's always making fools of us; why not see how we can make a fool of her?" Sasuke said.

Naruto grinned. "Glad you see it my way teme!" he said, and proceeded to open her mailbox.

"Who's it from?" Sakura asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"It says it's from someone called Quintessentia." Naruto said, reading the name.

"Quintessentia? Who the hell has that kind of name?" Sasuke asked.

"Dunno, but I wanna read this." Naruto said, and proceeded to read it with Sasuke and Sakura. By the time they were done, Sakura was blushing a bright red, Sasuke was blushing and muttering something about killing, and Naruto was twitching very badly.

"Uh…did she just write…with you two…?" Naruto asked, pointing at the two.

"That's it; I wanna see this website of hers." Sasuke said, pushing Naruto out of the way. He went to the favorites and scrolled until he saw the icon for it. He clicked on it, and it then took them to the homepage. He went up to click login, and was instantly taken to her settings.

"Hey teme, can we look at her profile?" Naruto asked, climbing back on the bed.

"No, I've got to find out all the people that need to die." Sasuke said.

"But she might have her friends listed on her profile. Come on Sasuke-kun, please?" Sakura asked innocently. Sasuke blushed again when images that were induced by the very "odd" message popped into his head.

"Alright fine." Sasuke muttered. Sakura and Naruto silently high fived each other as he clicked on the link. The page instantly showed up, and already he was annoyed with it.

"Hey look! Sakura-chan eats Sasuke for breakfast!" Naruto said, pointing at the icon. Sasuke paled as he saw that the picture said "I eat traitors 4 breakfast" with a chibi Sakura holding a frying pan that held a chibi tied up Sasuke.

"Moving on." He said, scrolling down. He then came upon the list of her friend's names, and began to make a mental note of all of them. "Alright, we're done here." Sasuke said, prepared to click out.

"Aw, but I wanna see her favorite copy and paste it sayings!" Naruto whined. Sasuke sighed and began to scroll down the page, letting him read all the sayings. And boy were there a lot.

"Haha, man she really hates you teme! Just look at all the insulting ones she's got on here!" Naruto said, laughing so hard that he fell off the bed.

"Shut it dobe." Sasuke said, reaching the end. He then began to go and click out, when all of a sudden Sakura interrupted.

"Hey Sasuke, can we read some of her favorite stories?" Sakura asked, moving closer to the screen. He grunted and went to the favorite stories section. A list of many stories revealed itself to them.

"Hey click on that one!" Naruto said, pointing at the first one. Sasuke read the title and saw that it said "30 Ways to Make Sasuke Hate You".

"No." He said.

"Aw come on, what are ya scared?" Naruto taunted.

Sasuke fell for the bait. "No." he said, and then clicked on it. A few minutes later, there was a blushing Sakura again, a twitching and blushing Sasuke again, and a Naruto who was laughing so hard that he almost wet himself.

"Well, this was fun, but I think we should move onto something else, don't you?" Sasuke asked, clicking out of the story.

"Can we check out some of the other ones?" Sakura asked.

"No." He said, moving towards the close button.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty, pretty please?"

"No Sakura, now shut up." He snapped at her.

"Aw come on teme, they can't be as bad as you think." Naruto said, recovering from his laughing fit.

"If you two will shut up about it, then fine!" Sasuke said, and went to click on another one of her favorites.

* * *

"Thanks mom!" GG yelled downstairs to her mom. She hurriedly made her way to her room to see what the damage was.

"_I hope it's not too bad."_ She thought to herself. She opened the door and saw what the scene displayed before her. Naruto was huddled in a corner, rocking back and forth while holding his head in his hands, and Sakura was passed out on the floor, her face so red that it put Hinata's to shame. And there sat Sasuke, still reading whatever was on the screen, a furious blush on his face. GG walked over to him and looked at the title on the screen, and smiled evilly as she knew exactly what he was reading.

"Wow Sasuke, didn't know you'd be one for lemons." She said, opening her closet door to hang up a jacket.

He nodded, barely listening to her as he continued to read on. "God I can't wait to do all this to her." He mumbled to himself.

GG nodded. "Me too, Sasuke, me too. But until Kishimoto decides to get you two hooked up, you'll just have to work with what people come up with here on Fanfiction."

"Got anymore?" he asked as he finished reading it.

"Hell yeah! Go to my favorites and click on "Chains" by Larid. Now _that's_ a lemon!" she said.

He smirked. "Will do GG." He said, and turned his attention back to the screen. GG walked out of the room and began walking down the hall.

"Wait a minute…I have to do homework still! Eh, it can wait." She said, and then proceeded to go write some ideas that had been bugging her all day.

* * *

"So tell me again, how did this short circuit?" asked the main tech man at the desk.

"Ehehehehehe…well Mr. Smith, I kinda spilled some tomato juice on it." GG said, hoping the lie would work.

"Uh-huh. Well, we should have your laptop fixed by next week. Here's a loaner while you wait." He said, handing her one of the many loaner laptops that the Tech Desk had in stock.

"Thanks Mr. Smith!" she said, turning to leave.

"Oh, and one more thing!" he said.

"Yeah?" she asked, turning back around.

"Don't drink too much tomato juice. I heard from someone that it makes your hormones go nuts." He said.

She smiled devilishly."Okay, whatever you say Mr. Smith." She said, and walked out the door. _"You have no idea how right you are Mr. Smith."_ She thought to herself, giggling all the way to homeroom.

**

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A/N: Well, hope you enjoyed the midnight crack! Leave a review, and you'll receive your own special Naruto laptop!(Sasuke recharger not included. If wanted, please contact Sound headquarters or Akatsuki headquarters. Mail order rates apply) Until next time, JAA MATA!!!


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